[Here is the second, two-part section of 64, entitled Epithalamium (wedding song), which recounts the courtship and the wedding ceremony of the two main characters (Peleus and Thetis). Different from my Propertius series, I retain the original classical names in this poem, albeit somewhat mockingly. I apologize in advance to anyone who may be offended by the shamelessly dark and vulgar seaside postcard type humor that pervades this section.]

 EPITHALAMIUM

(2)

Back in the day, when gentlemen wore suits & hats and smoked

& young ladies were still half-divine creatures just waiting

to be swept up out of their fine shoes &

off their feet into Hollywood Casanova arms,

when love was still believed in

and overseen by stern parental consent,

& when the glimpse of a nipple through a sheer silk dress

was still enough to touch off an undying infatuation,

it was in that age that our hero first clapped eyes on Thetis

in a freak show at the end of the pier.

*

She was playing the mermaid for pay and the Siren for kicks;

& the scaly tail concealed her gammy leg & the signs

of a lingering dose of the VD & the scar from the last abortion she’d had.

And her nipples were only

peeking out, so it wasn’t porn, as the best-man later tried to joke.

*

“Me name’s Peleus, like the Brazilian football star.”

That was always a helluva good first line, he thought.

“Mine’s Thetis, like fetish and tits all mixed up together,”

she replied in a strong Scouse accent, not batting an eyelid.

“I like that name. I’ve always half fancied that Pelly guy,” she added,

eyeing him backwards over her shoulder, as she licked slowly at her ice cream cone.

“Always been a bit partial to ‘fetish and tits’ myself,” he quipped,

“So long as they’re drenched in vinegar with a portion of mushy peas on the side”.

“Quite the poet, ain’t ya, ya cheeky sod,” she noted disapprovingly.

Plenty more fish in the sea.

*

He wheels her down to the beach,

where the dirtied sea sputters scum

over the seaweed and discarded fag-ends

that mark the tideline.

“I’ve a good mind to throw you back in,” he jokes.

She laughs back at him.

They stroll off along the promenade,

pick up some dried dead star-fish and sea-horses

from seaside shops. The sea-food

restaurant is too expensive

so they scoff chips from newspaper

watching the moon set somewhere across the Irish Sea

behind the fading illuminations.

*

The car on the way back is hot as fuck

and stinks of gas. Thetis lights up a fag,

rolls down the window a few inches to flick the ash out.

The wind rushing past them blows it back in.

Thetis laughs.

 

(3)

The wedding has to be a big do. And the in-laws-to-be

stream in along the roads and railways and ferries

from Oldham, Scunthorpe and Grimsby,

Carlisle, Ulster, and the Isle of Man…

& the typing pools and the looms are left untended,

seams of coal in the mines undisturbed by picks;

the machines in the factories fall eerily silent

and glowing foundries produce no steel.

Fishing boats stay in their moorings, the herring and the sole

leap about fearless and gleeful in the sea;

& the Sikh busman is done up to the nines

and travels on but does not drive the bus;

and the bookmaker takes no bets this day.

And the mermaid

bride is wheeled down the aisle; and nosey aunts

have already picked through her DNA and the doctors

have pumped her full of injections to take the edge

off of her depressions and settle her twitching tail. Slurred words

are exchanged for vows and scratchy signatures are

put to documents to seal the union of the happy pair

& they are pushed out through a drunken reception

& off in the honeymoon car,

decked out with lewd words sprayed in shaving foam

& a clanking of cans.

And the traffic cops, who would normally be down on that like

a ton of bricks, leave them be.

Because the law goes on leave on a marriage day,

as cops long for their own happy nuptials. Still,

one of them takes note of the registration number

and that bald tire and busted rear light and swears

he’ll still nab the cheeky bastards when they come back this way.