Burning Questions

The following ‘found’ poem was constructed simply by taking the most common Google search requests beginning with the word ‘why’ plus a modal/auxiliary verb or the word ‘people’ and arranging them roughly in alphabetical order.

I have excluded any items that might be deemed offensive or that refer to celebrities, popular culture or passing fads.

I am not sure whether this is sad, funny, shocking, or all three.

Burning Questions

Why am I so tired?

Why am I always hungry?

Why am I always cold?

*

Why are gas prices so low?

Why are oil prices falling?

Why are you interested in this position?

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Why aren’t flowers sold at a monastery?

Why aren’t my messages sending?

Why aren’t we funding this?

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Why can’t dogs eat chocolate?

Why can’t I fall asleep?

Why can’t I get a job?

Why can’t we be friends?

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Why couldn’t it be Christmas every day?

Why couldn’t the ghost tell a lie?

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Why did I get married?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why didn’t he call?

Why didn’t I think of that?

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Why do dogs eat grass?

Why do I sweat so much?

Why do we dream?

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Why does my cat lick me?

Why does my stomach hurt?

Why does it hurt when I pee?

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Why doesn’t he text me?

Why doesn’t my hair grow?

Why doesn’t the moon rotate?

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Why don’t we do it in the road?

Why don’t you get a job?

Why don’t you love me?

Why don’t you play in Hell?

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Why hasn’t he asked me out yet?

Why hasn’t he called?

Why hasn’t my hydrangea flowered this year?

Why hasn’t my period come?

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Why have a website?

Why have I missed my period?

Why have kids?

Why have we not returned to the moon?

Why haven’t we found aliens?

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Why is my eye twitching?

Why is the sky blue?

Why is my internet so slow?

Why isn’t YouTube working?

Why isn’t my iPad charging?

Why isn’t Netflix working?

Why isn’t Pluto a planet?

Why isn’t the sky violet?

Why isn’t my brain working?

*

Why might a corpse be exhumed?

Why might a scientist falsify results?

Why might the government freeze assets?

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Why must chemical equations be balanced?

Why must DNA be replicated?

Why must I be a teenager in love?

Why must I cry?

Why mustn’t you wake a sleepwalker?

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Why not both?

Why not me?

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why people cheat

why people lie

why people smoke

why people snore

why people bully

why people drink alcohol

why people get married

why people believe weird things

why people use drugs

why people hate me

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Why don’t people vote?

Why don’t people believe in God?

Why don’t people like me?

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Why shall the meek inherit the earth?

Why should I worry?

Why should we hire you?

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Why was the Berlin wall built?

Why was the Declaration of Independence written?

Why wasn’t I good enough for him?

Why were dinosaurs so large?

Why were Jews persecuted?

Why were pyramids and castles built?

Why weren’t there enough lifeboats on the Titanic?

Why weren’t we told?

*

Why would you put that on the Internet?

Why wouldn’t you.

2 comments

  1. […] Taking Google’s ‘cold reading’, akin to that of a cheap psychic, and combining it with personal choices, a formal framework, and aesthetic judgment, I am now trying to use this resource to produce avant-garde poems similar to some extent to those I labored to create in an age before we were all jumbled up online. I have already posted one such poem on this blog https://oudeis2005.wordpress.com/2015/03/15/burning-questions/ […]

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